22 Comments
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E.R. Davis's avatar

Its crazy to make metaphors that create a logical connection so well. These were both fantastic

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

Thank you, dear E! ❤️

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Just Kayla's avatar

Thank you E.R.!!

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Marcia Abboud's avatar

Haunting and beautiful. Both. 🖤

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

Thank you Marcia! ❤️

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Jill Eng's avatar

Both of these poems powerful and effective! Beautiful, amazing writing.

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Just Kayla's avatar

Thank you Jill!

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

Thank you Queen Jill! ❤️

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The Forgotten Muse's avatar

I How fickle and futile,

this future seems indeed!

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

We'll give it our best shot though :D

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S y l v i A 🌞 K a l i n A's avatar

Wow! Both of you with powerful pieces.... @ J Kayla...wow...I can so deeply relate to some parts...words that I never bothered to try to put down came to me as I read your emotions. Excellent to read you both.

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Just Kayla's avatar

Thank you Sylvia!!

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Debdutta Pal's avatar

Do I want to be in a party bathroom or at a train station?

Both. But more than that I want to be right here. Going in for re-reads.

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

The party bathroom AT the train station is the place to be.

Thank you, Deb! ❤️

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Just Kayla's avatar

Yes both can be true!

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Ute Luppertz's avatar

Stunning.

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Antony Fawcus's avatar

Intensely emotional. Beautifully read. Two different kinds of heartbreak; the

one global, the other deeply personal.

You sustain the metaphor of emotional baggage throughout the second poem and have some lines that resonate with me, like 'it wasn’t warmth I felt, but the weight of compliance'. Skilful use of alliteration, too.

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

Thanking yous, Tony ❤️

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Just Kayla's avatar

Thank you Tony!

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H. R. Sinclair's avatar

J, my crestfallen compadre, your piece is a quiet heartbreak. It brings back memories of my own past relationships, when I could only watch as they sadly and slowly fizzled out. Your reading adds a personal touch that only you could create. I am honoured to be by your side in this.

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Just Kayla's avatar

It's me that is honored

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Edward Swafford's avatar

The dynamic duo!

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